Reason to Live: Triela's Diary
by Panzer IV
Summary: A little look on Triela's diary, all thanks to the founder: FLEDA CLAES JOHANSSON. A filler that will explain the gaps in the Reason to Live Trilogy ::Entry 10: Check Up::
1. Prologue: The Location

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary **

**Prologue: The Location **

_Everyone has their secrets. _

_Some decided to keep it to themselves and keep it private_

_Though it feels uncomfortable as urges to share grew_

_Everyone has their secrets._

_Some decided to keep theirs through others, telling them about it_

_And hope it won't spoil to unwanted ones_

_Everyone has their secrets. _

_Some decided to write it down in a typical book; a diary, so to say and stash it somewhere safe_

_Until eventually, someone finds it and reads it_

…_and this is how it all began _

My name's Claes; Fleda Claes Johansson; I'm an operative working within the Social Welfare Agency. I spent my life here in the SWA for a year or so now, and I'm beginning to like my life here in the Agency; correction, I _love_ my life in the agency. Not everything here is perfect, but everything here is provided. Although I am an operative, I am not under any supervision of any handlers due to some…case. I never recall who my handler was or what happened to him; all I know is that I'm alive and well.

Besides myself, there are other operatives working under the Social Welfare Agency's watchful eyes. Yes there are more of us; cyborgs, here living in the Agency. Where do we sleep, you may ask? We sleep in our dormitory, just like what 'regular' students do. And just like those 'regulars', we have roommates; though some of us prefers to live alone in their room. I, as such, am the roommate of Triela. All I can say about her is how she's pretty much left her stuff unorganized; except for her _Steiff Bärs _which were organized pretty well with their bows and neckties acts as a near 'mascot' for our little dwelling. The rest of her belongings were left scattered in the room, leaving me to clean mine and hers. I can't complain, basically, because understandably she's often outside our room on a mission, or with no other than…

…Frederick.

It really turns into something common for the rest of us to see both of them walking around in the SWA holding hand-in-hand. Or, sometimes she decided to link arms with him; which he gladly accepted. _Tch_, not that I'm jealous or anything (I do have someone special to me, here in the agency)…it's just the fact on how she neglects her things when he came urges me to come up to her and slap her right in the face. I held myself in day 1…by day 5, I did. Frederick couldn't help himself but to hold his chuckling before he gets a 'follow-up' from Triela in the face. From what I see, he rather enjoys it…and same goes for Triela. I can't understand the both of them, really. But even after that time, things went normal…and I'm still stuck with cleaning our room.

…and that's how I found this little secret of hers…her diary.

After a curious look on her _Steiff Bärs_, I began to wonder 'why are they always so organized?' or 'how come she only tidy them?' The answer came after I decided to rummage through her teddy bears and guess what? There _is_ something there! Within one of them, hidden by the neckties and bows is a key; a small, yellowish, bronze key fit for a lock. As I am so 'experienced' in cleaning her stuff, I figured it is related to her little locked box in her dresser which she constantly forbid others; even Frederick, to come and take a look. Of course, that isn't in my case because I can look at the box and wonder how to open it anytime when she's not around! After a quick look, I pull out the box, open the lock and there it is…

Lying there is a small blue diary, neatly organized with a pen by its side. Like a treasure, it waits to be found as it shines with glee. It draws in irresistible temptation for anyone willing to pick up the godly object. And so, after a quick grin I did…

…and turns towards the 1st page…

_December 22nd, _

_Dear Diary…_


	2. Entry 1: Hello Diary

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 1: Hello Diary **

_December 22nd, _

_Dear, Diary_

_What a surprise! I had never thought that old Hillshire would give me something this…useless. Sure, I can see that 'someone' would enjoy receiving everything her handler gave, but not me! I do have a sense of taste on what I wished for sometimes. But what can I say? I can't say 'no' in front of him…what am I supposed to do? So, I guess this will be the first time I'll be filling this stupid journal and waste my time. What are you supposed to fill inside this diary anyway? Are you supposed to express your feelings and secrets here? What is it about girls and diaries anyway? Why are they so fond of this thing?_

_Whatever…I'll just go and think about this tomorrow when I have the chance…_

"What the…?" I said to myself as I finish reading her first line of paragraph "Jeez…how un-feminine you are…"

Diaries are books which were often kept by girls at this age where they would keep a record of their day which they found…interesting. Or close to it. Though, some boys do have diaries, they prefer to call it a 'journal' since it does sound too girlish whatsoever. Not that I care, but I do find it funny for boys to carry journals (or diaries) around with them.

So I sigh for a moment, checking my behind whether the 'demon' has returned and found the cost is clear. Fixing my glasses which have become a habit of mine, I smile gleefully as I turn towards the next page…

_December 23rd, _

_Dear, Diary…_


	3. Entry 2: Mario Possi

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 2: Mario Possi **

_December 23rd,  
_

_Dear, Diary _

_It all started yesterday after I had an argument with Hillshire about whether he should just pump me up with more conditioning after what I've done to Giacomotti from Camorra, our now-deceased target. What did I do wrong, seriously? I just shot him to SAVE HIS GODDAMN LIFE!! He's pulling his pistol! As we are, he IS threatening to kill Hillshire, and as we are programmed to we were supposed to keep our handler safe! What? He's about to slap me because of that…? What the heck's wrong with him? Jeez…at least we got him in the trunk. _

_Eventually, I spent the rest of my morning in my room with my shotgun only in my under garments, recalling what I did wrong. Yes, it was my fault. I knew that. Hillshire is right, but I just need to find what is wrong with it. Hillshire, Hillshire, Hillshire…what did I do wrong? Answer me…! Of course, doing something conspicuous like attracts attention, such as my roommate Claes. She did asked what I was doing and I answered 'meditation'. _

"Liar…" I said to myself after I read her sentence. "You said you're having your 'cramps' again and is meditating to keep the pain away…here it says you're love sick due to the 'medication'!"

_Hours later, we decided to move to Napoli in search of a guy named Mario Possi who is a former mafia leader. Hillshire told me that he knew him way back for some apparent reasons. We're thinking of giving him 'immunity' until he gives his testimony in the court. Eventually, we managed to find him where I was caught in a mess with the Mafia. Well, it wouldn't have to happen IF he didn't try to escape. Goddamn it, Hillshire even forced me to enter the MALE RESTROOM! Good thing no one enters because God-knows what will happen to Hillshire next! _

I start chuckling before letting out a small laugh, wiping little tears from my eye. Triela sure has a lot of story to tell…

_Eventually I managed to caught up with him and save his fat-ass from causing anymore menace towards me. He did notice that I was in pain due to my regular cramps…well, I AM growing up! But that doesn't matter…what I managed to learn from him I why he returned to Napoli; to see his daughter and send his gift to her personally. Guess a child needs a father after all. So, after a few other unimportant conversations involving where I was found before I join the agency, I let Mario go and told Hillshire that I lost him. Heck, I swear I can see he didn't trust me when I told him. _

_By the end of the day, we were strolling around Napoli until he says we should go shopping; to go look for a dress or cute shoes for me. Crap, now I wonder why I decided to skip that. Stupid…stupid, STUPID TRIELA!! STUPID ME!!_

"That's right!" I say letting out a giggle while checking my silent surrounding "I can guess you're too embarrassed to say 'yes' to your ex-'Prince Charming'!"

_Now I wonder why I responded as follows: 'I like the feeling I get when I tie my necktie…and the clack clack noise my leather shoes make'…now why did I say that? As he listened to my words, I remember he gave a slightly disappointed smile. For some reason that day, his flattering didn't get on my nerves. Well, I think it's good to have a day like that once a year…_

I sigh with a smile printed on my face after I finish reading her second entry, "Now I wonder why you aren't THIS hussy to Frederick, Triela?" then I pause...stupid question. And so, I turn towards the next page...

_December 24th, _

_Dear, Diary…_


	4. Entry 3: Hillshire

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary **

**Entry 3: Hillshire **

_December 24th,_

_Dear, Diary_

_HILLSHIRE HILLSHIRE HILLSHIRE HILLSHIRE HILLSHIRE HILLSHIRE! Somehow I never got myself tired saying his name over and over! It's almost like a magic word to me, keeping me alive as I progress through agency's mission. He's rather sweet…correction, TRIES to act sweet but is merely confused on what he's supposed to do. I don't mind though because…I like him that way. We walked around the Piazza di Spagna today after a light 'recon' mission considering recent Padania activities. Eventually, he decided to take a walk around and go for a little shopping. I didn't mind. Again, he did offered me if I would like to buy something more 'feminine', but I turned it down…AGAIN. Why? _

…_I don't know _

_I don't remember since when I fell for him. Yes, I know he's my handler and this is turning into those 'forbidden' relationships. It's turning more into a forbidden 'student-teacher' relationship. Please, I do have some affection for him…but I'm not sure if it comes from my own heart or, it comes from the conditioning I've taken; although I can say it is by minimum. Hillshire decided not to pump me up with more conditioning. But I know why…I know because he probably cares for me._

_If my life could last longer, if I could stay with him all the time…then I'm happy. That's all there is. I will do anything for him if necessary; anything…but not something that is considered too far…though I doubt he'll ask for something too far. _

"…A love confession to Hillshire…little Triela is growing up," I said snickering after I finish another entry "I wonder how Frederick would react if this reaches him…such a 'oh, Hillshire!' entry this is…

I pause, once again checking my surroundings before letting out a little grin. Time for the next entry…

_December 25th, _

_Dear, Diary…_


	5. Entry 4: The Eight Dwarf and Elsa

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 4: The Eighth 'Dwarf' and Elsa de Sica's Case **

_December 25th,_

_Dear, Diary_

_It's Christmas! And I receive…two Steiff Bärs. Same old Christmas gift every year. I received two of them; one from ol' Hillshire, the other from Mario Possi, the guy I released the other day. Now I regretted why I decided to ask for the same gift to Hillshire. I knew I should've asked for something else! Now what am I supposed to name the last one? The girls suggested many names but the one that interested me the most is…_

"August," I said with confidence "That's the name I suggest; Hillshire's birthday month!"

…_August. Yes, its Hillshire's birth-month but really, it sounds nice! Not because it is Hillshire's birth-month, but seriously it sounds nice! _

_After his name is given, I follow up with my usual ritual: tying bowties on them! While tying one on him, there it was today! A guy named Fermi and probably his girlfriend Elenora. I can say that Fermi is rather cute with his beard and moustache, but it's a pity he already has someone. Like I care about him anyway! _

I close the diary for a moment, letting out a small laughter before I continue commenting, "Wow…this is REALLY a different Triela from the one I knew…"

_I toss August towards the rest of his friends after he came into the room with the help of Rico. I don't want to be seen playing with dolls and all, because I have a different figure outside of my dwelling._

"Which I am supposed to clean all the time…and it is OUR dwelling! OUR room! Not yours!"

_They came to ask about Elsa de Sica. I didn't know too much about her, but what I can recall is how she is in our 'class'; separated from the others, unlike Henrietta and Rico. He started asking all sort of stuff, including our conditioning processes. Well, I explained that conditioning is like 'love'…which I can say that it develops into 'love'. What is love anyway? I can't even find my own true feelings as we are under constant watch of the agency, deciding our fate all the time. So what is love? Is this feeling towards Hillshire really 'love'? Or is it something that came from the conditioning process? Heaven knows… _

I pause after reading the last paragraph and sighs deeply, "This is really one reflective diary…I feel guilty reading this…" I pause, "But this is, a _guilty _pleasure!"

_He left soon after, and I joke him to bring flowers in next time. That afternoon after we're issued a 'short notice vacation' he called, which is a moment ago. Yeah, he caused me to forget what am I going to wrote here in this diary by asking 'where are José and Henrietta'. I told him they're in Sicily and that the phone might be bugged…in a way to send him off so I could finish writing, and start packing. _

By the time I finished reading his 4th entry, the urge to flip the next page grew larger; just like reading a romance novel. The small book contains lots of reflection and thoughts; which I CAN'T afford to miss! And so, I move on to the next…

_December 26th-28th, _

_Dear, Diary…_


	6. Entry 5: My ShortLived Holiday

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 5: My Short-Lived Holiday (Thanks Hillshire!)**

_December 26th-28th _

_Dear, Diary_

_So, I've been skipping writing yesterday's entry in this godforsaken diary, and decided to make it up today…which I what I'm doing right now. I was about to ditch this cursed book but, I don't know what force causes this; after looking at Hillshire straight at his eye I suddenly have the urge to write something in here and keep this godforsaken book…And so I did. Now what am I supposed to write in here anyway? I've been writing nothing but bullshit since a few minutes ago, and I should find a topic to write here…so is this a topic to talk about? _

_Never mind. Anyways, maybe I should discuss of this 'vacation' of mine which isn't as pleasant and exciting as Henrietta's. After the quick notice to leave, Hillshire decided for us to go to…_

…_the oh-so-great Social Welfare Agency _

_We stayed back. Hillshire got himself piled up with work, and eventually cancels his promise on going somewhere around southern Italy. Well…where, really? Has he ever put some thoughts on where we're going to? Some holiday…I'm stuck with him and his paperwork. _

"But you enjoyed it, right Triela?" I said with glee, "You always return to our room with a big smile each day."

_So eventually, only Rico, Claes, Angelica, and I were left here in the Social Welfare Agency while Henrietta herself is outside having some fun with her beloved handler. Damn I wish things would change…it gets lonely here sometimes, and I wish our numbers would grew. I don't care what gender it is; a boy would do just fine! _

"Triela, I suppose your wish has been fulfilled too much now, IS IT??" I said with glee before sighing, blushing in the process "At least it benefits me too…Luke…"

_And the holiday is followed with my usual cramps, rants from Claes about 'why is she the only one cleaning our room', more blablablas, crapcrapcrap, whateverwhatever, until tomorrow arrives. Bye bye holiday! Hello Henrietta and hello P230! Then it is followed with an objective on tailing this guy by the name of Enrico…_

_Damn this diary is getting corny…now remind me why am I still writing this crap? _

"Oh, that bitch" I said with a 'tone' while fixing my glasses "if you don't like listening to my complaints, why don't you help clean our room?? _I _listen to your regular bitching about your cramps!"

So without further adieu, I decided to turn towards the…

…actually I am rather disappointed with this entry. How more lazy can she get? First the room, now two days of entry that is supposed to fill two pages; not just one! But I have to admit, out of her 'dark side' attitude, she is intelligent AND persistent. How would she help Hillshire on his paper works if she's dumb? Which I doubt she isn't…Hillshire always called her up front during our class sessions to take over…And yes Triela, it is getting corny. Try to get to the topic. Oh, wait…

_December 29th, _

_Dear, Diary…_


	7. Entry 6: Like Playing Cat and Mouse

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 6: Like Playing Cat and Mouse**

_December 29th, _

_Dear, Diary_

_So now that my holiday is over (which never existed in the first place), we were assigned back to our mission after Elsa's case ended with questions. Hillshire told me they never caught the culprit and Section 2 decided to call the case closed. I do, however, found this rather…disturbing. I mean, how can one of us, the near 'invincible' 'Child Assassins' of the SWA be killed so easily? That someone would have to be an excellent marksman, a deadly sharpshooter, a cunning hunter, and a determined soldier; which is extremely rare in the Padania Republic Faction. Unless…_

…_the murderer is Elsa itself._

_Seeing how obsessed she is with Lauro, I can presume that Elsa killed Lauro before committing suicide. What the hell am I writing? Stupid assumptions…I doubt this is even correct. Darn it Hillshire! Stop giving me your paper works and your ridiculously stupid detective stories! It's corrupting my precious mind! _

"I thought you enjoy reading those novels he lent you for the first five minutes…" giggling, I fix my glasses "…before I found you asleep _with _the novel and your drool on it."

_As for today's assignment, Hillshire and I; along with the company of Rico and Jean will be tailing a man named Enrico, a suspected Padania bomber which we were ordered to take out. All credit goes to Henrietta and José for eavesdropping on their conversation. So we decided to follow him anywhere…and I mean almost ANYWHERE. Heck when he went to the toilet to do his 'bidding', Hillshire and Jean immediately tailed him inside. I don't know whether he's dumb or just plain stupid (which is the same one way or another) not to realize the 'two conspicuous males' which appears close to him almost constantly. But if he is outside, there's the 'two conspicuous ladies carrying instrument cases' that shows up near him almost anywhere; that is us. At that time, the 'two conspicuous males' were probably taking their toilet breaks or coffee breaks for the thousandth times while we do their labor. I can assume he's just playing dumb…_

…_on second thought, he might be the one responsible for last years 4 bombings, but outside, he's just plain idiot who doesn't even realized he's tailed. _

_So, we eventually found his 'nest' on the Tiber River, in a house of one of his sympathizers. Yes, it's not only one; but many. Now I should wonder how come there's people lining up to get themselves executed by us? Stupid question…they're terrorists, of course, what else is there? They just never expected to see a gun-wielding 14 year old blonde doing the execution instead of a 35 year old worthless German. Yes, I'm talking about YOU HILLSHIRE! STOP GIVING ME THOSE DETECTIVE NOVELS!! _

"…You've said that already…oh well, it's not my diary,"

_By nightfall, the operation starts with me opening the curtains. Using a thin strand of wire tied to my M1917 Bayonet (I always carry), acting it as a garrote wire, I crept up close to whoever it was and strung his neck swiftly, silently, but violently which ended his life instantly. Just for a little bonus, I decided to catch the radio just to make myself look 'cool' before tossing it to the dumbfounded handler of mine. I felt like the boss around here! _

"…is this really Triela?" I ask raising an eyebrow "Funny…this Triela is different from what she is at the agency…"

_But that moment cut short soon after. After signaling an 'all clear' to Henrietta and José, Hillshire decided to send me up the west wall and wait there for until Henrietta makes his move into the room for an ambush. Without complaints, I held the bayonet in my mouth as I start scaling slowly, but steady. Damn I hate scaling walls…took too much energy. _

_And so I waited there…waiting and waiting while hearing the breaking glass and the fire from Rico's SVD Dragunov. I decided to sheathe the bayonet back and waited some more. My fingers start to sore; and with Hillshire watching from below it doesn't help me settle this little creature inside my stomach (nervousness, tense…whichever I feel right) to stop jumping! Finally, the signal is given from Henrietta's SIG. I kick myself away from the wall, kicks the window open, held unto the bar using my left hand while my right hand grabs the shotgun and swung it right to Enrico's face! Moments later, knowing he's cornered, he raise his hand up for surrender…seriously, my finger is itchy enough to pull the trigger if he decided to keep his hands down for more than one second._

…_speaking of which…how do I look after I crash through the window?_

Fixing my glasses for the I-don't-know time, I let out a little chuckle after knowing that Triela is after all, just a girl considering her mechanical body. Girls at her age usually go for dress ups and loves having fun, and I can see that in Triela through her diary. Alright, no time to waste! There's still hours to go before Triela returns to her room escorted by her oh-so-beloved-Frederick. And so, I lift up my index finger, and turns to…

_December 30th,_

_Dear, Diary…_


	8. Entry 7: Thank you Hillshire!

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 7: Thank you Hillshire!**

_December 30th,_

_Dear, Diary_

_Thank you SO very much Hillshire for your 'impressive' reward of yesterday's action! Thank you SO very much for returning ME back to the SOCIAL WELFARE AGENCY while Henrietta and José took their walk in Piazza di Spagna! Thank you SO very much for handing me YOUR GODDAMNED PAPERWORK AND YOUR DETECTIVE NOVELS! WILL YOU CUT IT?? I HATE SEEING PAPERS AND PAPERS ALL DAY! I HATE READING DETECTIVE STORIES WITH TOO MUCH TWISTING PLOTS! I HATE BEING TEASED AROUND BY SOME PERVERTED OLD MAN WHENEVER I WENT INTO THE OFFICE; YOUR GODDAMNED OFFICE WHERE YOU WORK! Goddamn it I just want a decent reward! A walk around Rome or something close to it! Is it so difficult for you? Goddamn Germans are hard to understand... _

"Triela…you're not talking about Hillshire and I am you?" I said twitching "Check the mirror girl, I presume you're German!"

_But anyways, I eventually finished his paperwork. Yeah, all those were political based, so I don't understand a crap of it. That's where Hillshire took control of the paper and hands me a new one; which is another political based whatsoever. Then again, he'll take it over. Now when I think about it while I write in this stupid book with blank pages in it…_

…_I haven't done a thing to help him _

_He finished his work and let me go. Freedom! So eventually I decided to stroll around the SWA headquarters trying to find a decent job to do. Then Claes came up and asked me to help her clean our room for a moment. I declined it, said that I have work with Hillshire; his paperwork precisely, and that I am heading towards his office; which is a lie. Hey, I don't want to get myself involved in another back-breaking home-cleaning duty! _

"Oh so THAT'S a lie, huh? Sneaky bitch…you know how tiring it is to clean both mind and YOUR stuff too!?"

_So in the end, I visit the indoor firing range and train myself with my side-arm, the P230. Really now, I'm sick and tired having to help Hillshire most of the time when he is supposed to watch over me. But of course, I couldn't blame him too much. He was looking for me soon after and decided to take me to the movies and watch something that I prefer. Hey, finally a nice reward! And I'm almost stupid enough to turn it down! So this time I say, thank you Hillshire for FINALLY understanding what I wanted: a decent reward in the movies! _

…_I still wish a tour around Rome though…_

"Now that explains where you get the idea on that flower you bring the next day…I knew I've read that description of yours somewhere…" and so I sigh, fixing my glasses once again before taking a look around. I take a small peek through the door, checking my surroundings if the two have returned. Good thing all I find is Beatrice walking around with her usual flat-face. I close the door slowly, making no noise before I pull myself a chair and continue…

_December 31st,_

_Dear, Diary…_

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry it took so much time. Anyways, next chapter will be: Song of Joy (Yes, you know this in Manga Vol. 2)**


	9. Entry 8: Song of Joy

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 8: Song of Joy**

_December 31st, _

_Dear, Diary _

_So today's the last day of the year. The SWA headquarters got themselves decorated, and the staffs were getting ready for the New Year. But of course, we have our own plans. Claes and Henrietta planned us to go to the range and watch the meteor shower. Well it is a clear sky after all! Why waste the chance when they've come up with the plan? So anyways, Hillshire decided to (finally) took me for a walk around Rome. Not much actually, just sight seeing. _

"Yeah, just sight seeing huh? You seemed veeeeery cheerful when you returned to the agency with the flower." I said with glee while fixing my glasses

_Along the way, I came up with the thought of buying Angie a bouquet of flower. Sure, not much. The price will land on Hillshire's money anyway so I can just ask him kindly with the best puppy face I can put in. And yes, he buys it without suspicion. Besides, I heard from Hillshire himself that Angie is feeling better and will be returned operating in the field soon enough. _

_As usual, today I was dressed-sorry-cross dressed again with my usual outfit that comes with a long trench coat, a neck tie…all those sort of stuff. I am getting used to it, so wearing it all day isn't much of a big problem. Anyways, I noticed Claes outside working on her Vegetable garden; which is coming together quite nicely. It's a good thing that she doesn't notice that I spilled a bag of salt yesterday in the dirt…_

"W-WHAT!?" I stop…more exactly; I froze "Jeez…no wonder the plants were having such a hard-time to grow! Oh, she's gonna' get it! I'll photo copy this diary when I'm finished and post it all around the Agency. THEN I'll see her face!"

_So I try not to draw suspicion by asking 'it's coming together, huh, Claes?' where inside I'm saying 'wait till' you start planting things. I doubt it'll grow. And no, I am not going to help you unearth the salts'. Seeing her face for a moment makes me shiver, but she snapped me out when she said that I watched too many movies. Yeah, flower related. And no Claes, it isn't from movies; but from one of Hillshire's God-forsaken detective novels. Great now I'm poisoned by that prick handler of mine with some detective novels. _

"It's a good thing, too! Having a handler AND Frederick to watch you all day is already a heap of blessing. SO STOP COMPLAINING AND HELP ME!" I say so myself…now why am I talking to this book?

_After a short conversation (and after knowing that our chaperone José, Henrietta's handler, can't come due to some business…probably a walk with Ferro for the new year. By God I already have suspicion that José has his eyes set on her!), I return to what I am planning to do all along: visit Angelica. She asked for her Steyr Aug, so I decided to bring that too by 'begging' (using the 'innocent little girl thing') the guy in charge of the Agency's firing range to hand me the Steyr Aug (of course with an empty magazine). Just like fool old Hillshire, he buys it. _

"Sneaky…I should try that once so I could go visit the range again…"

_Then I saw Claes and her vegetable garden. Yes, now I'm repeating what I'm going to say to her, blablabla. Anyways, I met Marco on the way. He asked-no, he knew that I had the AUG inside the AMATI case. I said that Angie just wants to 'touch it'. Well, she did anyways so it is true. After a short conversation, I place the flower in the pot, and hand her the Steyr Aug. She assembles it perfectly; despite being in bed all the time. It's not all that happy to her however, as she soon starts opening about how she forget about the most important things in her life like…_

…_happiness and/or sadness_

_It depends on her character, really. So I decided to cheer her up a bit by brushing her hair; like what most 'normal' girls of our age do. I guess Claes is right commenting about how I've been watching too many movies. I should say that this is one of those 'social activities'. Back to the hair business, I told her that doing Rico or Henrietta's hair isn't fun because it is too short. And Claes doesn't let me touch hers because she said 'my hair's so beautiful, I'm not letting your foul hand touch my crown! HUH!' or 'It's already perfect; lay off please?' sort of thing. Well I didn't said that to her, but that's what she said to me._

"...Do you have a problem with my hairstyle Triela?" I said commenting the last paragraph before I mark the page and mirror myself "Funny…I don't see anything wrong with it!"

_Angie soon reminded me that she asked for a boom box and a tape to accompany her as she still couldn't walk out to see the meteor shower with us. Again, I use the 'puppy face'. Sad I beg to the wrong person. Jean is such a stiff bastard he just looked at me like I'm some kind of slut or bitch or something close to it. Well I'll say to him, f…_

"Oh, my…," I held my giggle "Pretty rough language there Triela!"

_…you! Eventually, he hands it over and I return to Angie's room with the tape and Beethoven's symphonies. After setting the tape (which doesn't take too much time), I decided to ask Hillshire to be our chaperone for the watch. God, why did I pick him in the first place? Oh wait…he's the only one available since Jean can't be counted on the roster, considering how stiff he is. This time, I don't know why, I am having a rather hard time to ask him to be our chaperone. He got paperwork (again), and with me being able to speak into three different languages, there I was helping him again to finish his work! With thanks, he complies and follows as our chaperone! That's another job done by me!  
_

"Woah, woah, WOAH! Triela! I thought you said you forced him to come!" I said to the 'book' I'm now talking too. I really should cut the habit of talking to myself "I never thought you'll asked him NICELY without force, AND forcing him to come by helping his work!"

_I spent the rest of the day helping Hillshire translating his paperwork (which consists of security documents). By nightfall, all of us walk towards the range and gaze up the sky. As they say, the sky is clear and beautiful…the stars were up there tonight, and I can say it is still up there watching us as I write another entry in this god-forsaken diary of mine. I should toss this out the window sooner or later before I'm attached to this. Claes come to the field with a thing-a-majigy in her lap with pencil. Now what is she doing?_

"Graphing stars," I answer "Never heard of it? Never seen it before Triela? You should try it; it's EDUCATIVE!"

_So we waited for a little while before eventually, pompompom! Rico spot the first one! And she's excited! Well I am excited; this is my first time too! But I should always act calm and keep my image. I decided to lie on the grass and watch meteor shower. Boy how I wish I could watch this with someone I would consider 'special'. 'Normal' girls would be doing this with her boyfriend; I would like too someday…anyone but NOT old Hillshire._

"Be happy, girl." I said fixing my glasses "You got Frederick now…though I'm not going to plan another 'meteor shower watch' after reading this entry of yours. Go plan it yourself!"

_But heck, 'normal' girls can't see the meteor showers. Their eyes can't make it up; unlike ours. No contact lenses or glasses needed! Except Claes with her ZERO glasses that is…_

"So you've been toying with my glasses too, huh? You're really looking forward to die!"

_I start talking how messed up the world today is, and how complicated it is before for an unknown reason (probably because I mentioned Angie listening to it); we came up with Beethoven's ninth symphony. Henrietta starts humming; I pick her up just for the fun of it. She is adorable for her size, I have to admit. Then I start singing. By the time I start, we all start singing Beethoven's ninth. It is perfect for that time, so why not? We sang the whole night, welcoming the New Year ahead of us! Tomorrow-excuse me-today, probably later this morning since I am writing this at 1 AM, we will receive our daily assignment that deals with terrorists, Mafias, and Padanias. Happy New Year bad guys out there! Enjoy it while it lasts!_

"Another entry done," I sigh "I wonder how many things she did behind my back? Oh well…"

_January 1st,_

_Dear, Diary…_


	10. Entry 9: The New Girl

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 9: The New Girl **

_January 1__st_

_Dear, Diary _

_New Year! Anything much gloomier than this? Besides Rico and Jean who're out to Florence this morning, we got ourselves 'cherries'. No, not the fruit type. Today we receive…_

…_a new junior operative_

_ I don't know what to say, but she's just 'there' this morning in the auditorium where old Hillshire and the rest of the handlers lecture on their boring and lousy studies. All I can comment about her is the fact that she's a silent and studious one. It's almost like…she's just 'there' to appear one moment and disappears the next. I was called forward again this morning by Hillshire (since obviously, I am the brightest person in the Agency's list of cyborgs) and asked to continue the class for a second; probably due to his 'personal' matters…a girlfriend, probably? Now why am I feeling so jealous? _

"Easy question, easy answer. Continue your ramble…"

_Anyways, I decided to go forward to this new girl and try to get to know her better somehow. So I decided I'll walk up to her and talk to her for a moment, ignoring Claes' simple and rather 'dumb' questions all around._

"It's called philosophical questions!" I said clutching the book harder this time "The one who needs these 'dumb' and 'simple' questions is YOU!!"

_She's fine…that's what I think. I was surprised to find her spacing out in the middle of the class though. She's staring…staring at the empty white board; almost like she's in a trance. I nudge her once, seeing how spellbound she is and got her attention before I began questioning. She's very shy, but after a few short conversations about our current study she's pretty much an open person. I can tell she's calm…VERY calm indeed; even after a little 'joke-insult' I accidentally pulled out._

"Lucky you," I said chuckling "I was hoping she'll clobber you one night!"

_ Her name is Monica, the junior operative of Romeo; her handler. Well, DUH! Obviously, why would she be here if she isn't a junior operative? Anyways, both of them began their active service here in the SWA starting today. It's nice seeing new faces rather than the old usual smiles. Sometimes, things like are one of the few relieving things in the SWA since the death of Elsa. _

_I only managed to grab a little conversation for half a day though. That afternoon, Monica is shipped out to Florence with Romeo immediately to be 'field tested', as well as in hopes to assist Rico by distracting a major number of Padania. I don't know the details too much, but I heard they performed quite well…but not effectively. Monica got herself shot by her waist on her first day, while Romeo almost got himself distracted…or so I heard. It's glad to see they're still alive though…_

_All I can say is…welcome to your new life, Monica! _

"Monica…now that you mentioned her, she is almost always in her room studying something about...YURI? Nevermind...goddamn imagination. Must limit myself from reading too much over-exagerated romance novels!!" Besides me, Monica is one of those operative who's combat capabilities is below the agency's requirements. I've always been alone, so it makes sense. Monica, however, is already 'bad' from the start. Credit falls to her handler too...

_January 2__nd_

_Dear, Diary…_

**Author's Note:  
Exams are coming!! I'm currently too busy; preparing myself for a whole heap of exams as they are being rushed to me!! NOOO!!! Anyways, Monica is credit to The Oddity. Yep, Monica is her OC. Arigatou gozaimasta!**

**Next chapter might took a while...**


	11. Entry 10: Check Up

**Reason to Live: Triela's Diary**

**Entry 10: Check Up**

_January 2__nd_

_Dear, Diary _

_And so it came today! Once again, it is our yearly check up after a year of service involving guns, Padanias, and the oh-so-lovingly handlers. So, doctor Bianchi tested our abilities for a while as usual before interviewing us._

"Like a typical high school doctors would do; strip them of their clothes, measure our weight, height, and other I think unnecessary. Perverted technicians…"

_After the usual 'virginity-check' by our technicians (seriously, do they think our handlers would do such a thing to us?), we were sent straight to our beloved dr. Bianchi for some more of those Freud or whatever it is called._

"Psychology test dummy," I exclaim giggling "I thought you LOVE to hear that every time you had your 'weird' dreams where Hillshire is involved."

_But not exactly Freud that Claes always had. He's more like asking 'how do I feel' sort of thing. So it goes like 'how do I feel', then 'so everything went fine for you?' and then asking whether I can control my emotions or not. Well, DUH! OBVIOUSLY!! C'mon people! I will be fourteen this year!! Sheesh, it is bugging; not to mention Ferro behind watching like I'm some sort of criminal in the death roster; eyes open people, I KILL criminals!! Padanias!! And I don't look like one so stop WATCHING or EXAMINING me because it is uncomfortable!! And I swear Hillshire is on the other side of the one-sided mirror looking at me with a sort of 'do-oh' expression on his face like he usually has. I never like this check ups on the first place, so I decided to lay a little prank on him while I'm at it. I swear I could imagine his face that time when I pulled it; Dr. Bianchi is surprised himself! So, I point my index finger using my left hand and turn my attention to the mirror (after Dr. Bianchi's last question) and said:_

"_Hillshire, stop looking at me like that…and get that hand of yours off your 'thing'!" _

_Dr. Bianchi immediately gave me a puzzled look as I start giggling. Of course, Ferro is out fetching Henrietta. He asks soon after if I knew it was a 'one-side mirror'. So I gave him a 'yes' which is returned with sigh, mentioning that the 'other room' is empty currently. Heck yeah right…mind explaining why Hillshire gave me a word after the counseling? Well, the yearly check up ended with me having a possibly good grade and results and all. Of course, it was added later with Hillshire's scold of my behavior before he left. Not really a scold, but more of a word; or as I say, his 'personal counseling'. I decided to ear a bit on Henrietta's talk with Dr. Bianchi before I left for showers. _

…_I swear I heard Henrietta mentioning she killed more people than I am last month…_

_And what's up with Angie today anyway? Is Marco harsh to her again? Some handler he is..._

_Oh, by the way: Rico returned today with Jean; accompanied by a nerdy looking guy. _

I couldn't stop laughing after I read her entry. Now I understand the ruckus she created between Jean and Hillshire late that afternoon. I went first before Triela, so I didn't get to listen to her check up. However, I found Hillshire talking to Jean about Triela's exam and found Jean unusually chuckling hearing Hillshire's comments about her check up. Well what could I say? She could be one of the most mischievous and rebellious girl around here after all!

Using my index finger to bookmark the page, I check my surroundings; as well as the outside world by taking glimpse through the door's hinge before returning back to Triela's 'life story'.

_January 3__rd_

_Dear, Diary…_


End file.
